Copycat by Alex Lake

Author:Alex Lake
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2017-06-29T04:00:00+00:00

5

Jean blinked a few times. Even on the tiny screen she looked shocked, then disbelieving, then amused.

‘It’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?’

‘Maybe,’ Sarah said. ‘But all the stuff that was going on – it really got to me. I was having panic attacks, starting to doubt my own sanity. I’m not sure I want to go back to it.’

‘Sarah,’ Jean said. ‘When you’re away it always feels better. You don’t have work and the stress of managing the kids. But you’ll get jobs and it’ll be the same over there.’

‘Except there won’t be someone pretending to be me sending emails to people, or writing letters to Ben in my handwriting.’

‘Ben thought it was you, right?’

‘Yes, but it wasn’t me.’

‘I know, but bear with me.’ Jean paused. ‘What if it was you, Sarah? What if all the stress – work, kids – as well as the guilt of hiding the affair, was getting to you?’

Sarah tensed. She could feel the panic fluttering around her for the first time since they’d arrived in England.

‘But it wasn’t, Jean. I explained it to you. The quadcopter—’

‘I know. I’m only saying, what if it was? Then you would only be bringing it to a new place. When the stress started – it could all start again.’

Sarah felt tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe Jean doubted her. Jean, of all people. God, even five minutes talking to someone from Barrow had destroyed her peace of mind. It made her never want to go back. She was going to talk to Ben as soon as he got home.

‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘Speak later.’

When Ben came home she steered him into the back garden. They stood on the edge of the lawn and Sarah told him about her conversation with Jean and her decision to ask him if they could stay for good.

Ben didn’t answer for a few moments.

‘I don’t think it’s the right time to make such a big decision,’ he said. ‘I don’t think it’s necessary.’

‘It’s the perfect time,’ Sarah replied. ‘Don’t you see?’

‘No,’ Ben said. ‘I see it as the worst possible time.’ He looked at a hedge to avoid looking at her. ‘We just went through a very difficult few weeks,’ he said. ‘And then you told me you’d had an affair.’

‘Right,’ Sarah said. ‘Exactly. And you said it yourself the other day. Things are better here, and you’re worried if we go home we’ll be back to square one. Well, I am too. So let’s stay. We need to put this behind us, and moving here is a fresh start.’

‘And I don’t want a fresh start,’ Ben said. ‘I’m not even sure yet what the future holds for us, never mind making a massive decision to uproot our family.’

Sarah stared at him. ‘What do you mean, you’re not sure what the future holds for us? Are you saying you want to break up?’

‘No, not exactly.’

‘Then are you saying you think we might break up?’ Sarah said. ‘Because I didn’t think that was even on the table.

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